Rosamma Varghese (1936-2024)

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Dear Ammini Peramma, Kuttappen Achen, Lolamma Amayi, Rajappen Achen, our Thekkethala and Nereyeth family and Mom’s dear friends, 

Let us not grieve, let us not mourn, but rather, let us celebrate the life of our mom, grandmom, sister, aunt, and dear friend. 

Let us celebrate a woman of unparalleled honor and integrity!

Mom was born into the large Nereyeth family in Alleppey. She and her four sisters were beloved by their parents. When her mother, Velliamichi, complained that mom wasn’t helping or learning to cook in the kitchen, her father, Appapen, remarked, “Let her read her book - she won’t be cooking in any kitchen when she grows up! And he was right!

Her father must have been overflowing with pride and joy, when he sent her a telegram to the UK, to inform her that she had been awarded the gold medal for her bachelor’s degree in mathematics! And when she returned to Kerala, he drove her to college to receive her medal. 

The Nereyeth Sisters were indeed beloved by their father.

Mom told her father that she only wanted to marry a man more educated than herself. He agreed, and so she married my dad, TV Vareed, an aerospace engine designer from the Thekkethala family.  Mom was dad’s pillar of strength. She wrapped him with so much tender, loving care that he enjoyed a long life of dreams fulfilled.

Mom was fiercely independent and extremely confident. She started an ice cream business and later a shoe upper manufacturing unit, which only employed women from the nearby villages.  She then moved into real estate investments where she also did remarkably well. She was President of her Apartment Complex Owners Association for many years.  The executives loved her ingenious ideas and effective financial management, and told her, 

“Aunty we’d like nominate you President for Life”!

While she often called out her son’s foolishness as “mandatharam”, her grandchildren were her pride and joy. She was there when they were born. She nurtured them during their early weeks. She came for all their graduations and other milestones. She hosted us all for Christmas and other holidays, with detailed daily menus of all our favorite food and special desserts.

She taught the grandkids some gardening and potted flowering plants on our decks. She loved to play Scrabble and Cards with all the grandkids, usually for small stakes. They quickly realized that their grandma may move slowly, but her mind was far from slow, as they lost more of their pocket money every day, playing cards with her.

She came to the US frequently and spent a month with each of us. 

She shopped in her favorite stores, enjoyed going out to dinner with us, and visiting our US cousins.  Broadway Theater weekends were my favorite times with her. Because of the crowded streets in Manhattan, we would hold hands and walk to dinner and the theater. Amid Times Square’s glaring lights and chaos, as I held her hand, I felt as close and protective of her as I’ve ever felt. I realized then as I realized over the last six weeks of caring for her,  that mom was a strong independent woman, who needed all our tender love, care, and protection. 

In her last days, as her frail arms reached out for my embrace,  her body crumbling, her mind, full of life and love, she said, “I am sorry Mone”. Those were her last words to me! 

She gave so much of herself so willingly to each of us, that all of us, her extended family, loved her back in equal measure. So, let us raise a toast, to celebrate the life of our beloved Mom and Amayi.

Mom, we love you in a place where there’s no time or space,

AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU,

AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF US, FOREVER.